Till it suits me

We, in general like the idea of having someone by our side, be it our family, a friend or partner. We like the thought that we might not be alone after all, that we will have someone there for us, anytime, every time we might need. Though this idea is very comforting, but this is far from reality.

We might have a big family, we might have a dozen friends or we might have some special people in our lives. We feel that when in need, they will be there for us. This might not be wrong, but to expect that they will be always there for you is an exaggeration of hope. Yes, they will be there at certain stages of our lives, but that is not permanent. 

When we were growing up, we always had our parents to take care of us, they still are, but the way their care has transformed should be taken into consideration. When we were kids, they used to take care of every trouble we get into, and when we were in school, we had a bunch of friends who would help us copy their homework or help us ignore the person making fun of us always. 

When we were young, we had our gang to save us from everything, including our parents :P They were always there to party with us, to talk about our latest crushes or for a shit load of wisdom about things we might have not even heard of before.

When we find our significant other, the better half, the One, we share our lives with them. They are in literal terms, for us, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse. They are there when we have a crappy day at work and they are there when we have a fight with our parents. They proved to be a whole package of friends and family and what not. 

But, are they really there for us. I mean, when we grew up, we found it difficult to share certain things with our family. When we were with our crew, there were a certain things we found private enough to not share with them and some things were too harsh to share with our partner.

Then again, no one means it when they say they will be there for us no matter what. I have been on both the sides and I will admit I have tried blowing someone off when they were getting on my nerves everyday with their problems and I have also pissed a few friends when I was doing the same thing to them.

So what does it mean? It simply means that they are there in the good times and in bad, only till its convenient for them. Till they enjoy hearing all those sad stories, and till they like encountering the sad details. 

Today, people are there for us, only till they feel like doing it. You might be the same person you were when you were attached hip to hip. But it might just not be profitable enough for you. They might not be having as much as they expected, they might not be getting as much as they wanted out of that relationship. They might not be feeling what they assumed they will. 

In other words, they just want you, to be with you as long as they want and they need. So even if you think they are there for you, in reality you were there for them, for whatever purpose you were serving, you were catering to their needs. 

And the same thing goes for us. No matter how much we want to deny it, we are exactly the same, just in different shoes at the different time and with different people. Hell, we might be treating someone as badly as someone else is treating us, right at this moment. Its like a take and give kind of situation when we take crap from someone and give it to someone else. 

We just like to portray ourselves as saints in situations when we are nice to someone and as a victim when some is mean to us, but we don't really wanna think about the times when someone was being nice to us when we were plain mean to them. 

So, next time, someone says 'I'll be there for you', know that this is only till it suits them. 

Why the culprit?

Life's long, life's strange and life's full of different types of people around. Someone you would like, someone you would deeply love and someone you would like to be friends with. But its a mix bag. Many a times in our lives we come across people we don't like, the kinds we like to despise. The kind we either choose to bitch about or if we act to be strong enough, choose to simply ignore. But the point is are they the bad people?

Well, I guess that's a relative term. No one can be just bad as no one can be just good. And good and bad are simply sides of the same coin. From the other end of the line, it might be the same. Someone would say there is no definite good and bad. There's always an in between we call the gray area. But then how do we decide what is it and where are we? And then there are always things which can be directly put into the basket of the bad. 

But lately I have been thinking why would someone do what is bad. Like, why would someone hurt anybody? Aren't we all the same, innocent when we were born. No one just grows up deciding he wants to be a murderer, right? Then how do they become what they have become? 

I have a theory. 

I have heard a story where the souls who end up in hell are tortured beyond eternity, to an extent that they would give anything up for that to end. Initially I thought who would do that to someone and why! But very soon I found the answer. After decades and decades of this agony, those poor souls are given an option. They are given a way out. No, of course not out of the hell, but out of this pain, this state. They are made to chose between what they want to become, a predator or a prey. They want to be the ones who are perpetrator or the ones who are victims . Now obviously no one would agree to hurting anyone if they are not put into the situation where they have to choose between their own misery and the others. No one would shoot the other person if he himself is not at the gun point. 

So that poor soul ultimately becomes the one hurting others. This is an endless cycle.

Then again this was a far-fetched example of this. If we look into our own lives we might have a few people we feel could do better but they choose not to. Like the friend who keeps betraying you and you end up being disappointed in yourself for you were a fool to trust that person again. But then I think his life, his journey made him so. He might have faced all that himself and now he has decided to mold in a way that wouldn't be as hurtful. Or the lover who keeps on letting you down because you have too much expectations. He might be trying to do things the best way he knows but he has lived a different life and he has seen and done things differently. Or the friend turned boss who used to be very nice and warm but has refused to even have lunch with you. It might not be huge but think that he might have his own reasons for that. He might have to face something we have no idea about which has changed him to this.

I have been trying to justify every incident just like these, with me or someone else and I don't see a single example where the actions of the others can't be justified. Even if the other person has done something bad to you, something must have happened in the past that has changed this person, from someone who wanted to just spread happiness all around to someone who is the reason for someone else's sorrow.

What I deduced out of this is a man would do bad if put into such a situation. When he has something to loose himself only then he would think about doing it. A man becomes what he is because of what he has gone through. If someone has trust issues, its because  he has been betrayed more often than not. If someone looses the enthusiasm to do good, its because he might not have found good around him. If someone's not happy to help, it might be because he didn't get any help when he desperately needed it. Every day every moment changes us in some way. It shapes us into what we will become. Not everyone may have the courage and power to resist the bad around and not everyone actually dares to choose the more difficult path if the wrong one is the easier one. 

You might have been on the hurting side of it, and I sincerely hope nothing happens to you along the way that turns you into that person. You can't choose the things life is going to throw at you but you can definitely control the choices in that moment. You can definitely chose to let go. Because this bitterness you have for all the bad things that has happened to you will turn you into a bitter person and thus throw you on the other side and it might not be a pleasant thing. There is hope if you feel you have turned a bit cold, there is still hope if you wonder so. There is still a hope for you to see the brightness of day and there is still hope if you don't want to be the culprit of someone else's bad.

Dear Deadline

I might not be a fan of it but I understand it is good. Its good when we are working and its good when we are living. I have been thinking of the scenarios I have been thrown at so far and I feel it is necessary.

Take our job for example, if we are not in rush, if we don't have a date when we have to finish it we will be taking more time. Now I won't say unrealistic deadlines are a key but yes the ones that challenge us and the ones that make us push our boundaries are sweet! Now when we are given a deadline, at the moment we feel angry about it, we feel that the need to fix up a timeline for everything is not necessary but when we solemnly think about it we understand the need. We might think at that time that we would have been able to learn more if not given an end date but we might have not completed the task with that pace either. That adrenaline rush we get when we decide to complete the given task in a day or may be in an hour, that is a good feeling. The feeling when we challenge ourselves and we get out of it victorious is unimaginable. Why just job, take studies too. When given a date of exam, only then we think we really need to study and finish that course before that. Imagine a world without any exam at all. Seems nice at first, but leaves us with no real experience or growth.

Having goals is important but attaching a date with it is equally necessary. Somethings might take up more time than others but at the end, they need to be completed within that time. This is what pushes us and makes us work a little harder than before. This is what drives us.

When we have the feeling that this time is not forever, this phase of life in which we are in will pass too, its then we feel we want to make the most out of it. When we go to some place for vacations, we know we are there for a couple of days only and we have this list of things we want to see or do there. This is what drives us. Now imagine if you stay in that place forever at the time being, you know you always have the option do to that thing tomorrow, or day after that. You know you are not time bound, and this right there goes on. Which is why we barely visit places where we live.

You know why? Because we take it for granted. We know today or tomorrow it will be there. We do the exact thing with the people we love. We do this to our own life!

When in the back of our mind, we have this thought that this might not be the same tomorrow, we create an urgency. But otherwise, we just get too comfortable that it end up being dull. Remember the school/college time when we always wanted to be a part of everything and to enjoy the time to the fullest, we knew this privilege is not forever. We were not sure if we were gonna see people around us after a few years, we were not sure if we will be in the same city as them, we were not sure if today's loved ones will even be in our tomorrow. We were so unsure yet so happy. And today we have this illusion that we know where life will take us in next 5 years, who will be around us then, what will we be doing with our lives. We think that we know everything and we are so sure. But what we  don't realize is that we might be stable, in terms of location, job, or people around us, the life is still not certain, and it will also change. After all that we have been through, now when its most important, we have got too safe and stupid to think that this will stay the same. We think this is how life is going to stay and thus we have been doing things the exact same way we were doing like a year ago. We have stopped stopping and looking back and thinking and looking forward and dreaming.  We have stopped putting that effort we used to make, to make a day meaningful and have fallen in the trap of mundanes. And why? Because we have not set up a deadline.

When we knew our high school is going to last for a few years, you wanted to spend it with your friends and make new memories, have fun with them because we knew its a limited time. When we knew college is going to last for 4 years, we were determined to experience everything and to learn and love and live. And the time when we were in our first job, and we wanted to make the most out of our money and time and so we worked for it, we worked for us, without a break because we were not taking it for granted because the rush of it was limited.  But now, what we see is indefinite period of work and no set deadlines. We have turned our blind eye towards our own lives and happiness and we just keep on going on. Day after day, week after week, we just spend our days, thinking about all the things we wanted to know, all the things we need to cross off our check list but because we gave ourselves infinite time to achieve that it is taking forever to actually do that. We don't remember that the clock is still ticking even if we choose to ignore it. Time is passing even if we are not ready for it.Because we keep saying to ourselves from tomorrow and everyone knows tomorrow never comes.


This post is meant to mark an end to my 'from tomorrow'. I hope it will do it for you too :)

Are we Addicted to the Pain?

We humans are twisted creature. The more you think about it the more you will start feeling the same.

We humans as kids, continue begging to grow up. When we do get old, all we want is to go back to the time when we were kids. Basically, what we ask for, we don't get and what we get we don't want. The thing is we just can't be happy with what we have. Either we will be waiting for the future, with a hope that tomorrow will be better or we will keep lurking over the past, crying over the memories, pining about the time we once were having, the things we once had, the people who were there then.

But let's stop for a minute and think about it. Why is it? Why do we have to keep crying over something that could be real pity and insignificant that we fail to see so many other wonderful things that may have been happening around us, most probably, something better. Well, I have an opinion.


What I feel is, we have become so habitual of being in pain, that when we actually are happy, we feel the incompleteness, the void, which can be filled with the pain. We have moulded ourselves in a way that we have become incapable of being happy. We smile, we laugh, but the moment we realise we are having a good time, we are happy, we get scared. We get so scared of being happy that we chose to stay sad and pathetic. In the early stages we justify this by saying whenever we are happy something bad happens so we are afraid. But in reality we are just afraid to feel the positivity, the light.

It's like we have accepted the fact that this is who we are, this is how it's gonna be. We still are that 8 year old kid, who is hidden in the corner of the room, afraid to come out, for what we might have to encounter. We have gotten comfortable in the dark corner that we refuse to find out what's there out in the world, so we end up staying there and are devoid of all the good things.

We refuse to see the light. The pain and sorrow have such a hold on us that we don't want to let go of it. We connect to it, we are a whole with it. It is such a shame to see how we have ended up. We fail to see that we have to replace this darkness inside of us.

All our lives, we work, to have a better life tomorrow. All this time, we pray for health and happiness. We say, we hear, we read that happiness is not the destination but the journey. But we worry too much. We forbid ourselves from looking at the good things, from feeling the happiness.
I agree there are times when we  feel low, when we feel like we have run out of energy and we just can't move. We hate talking or laughing at such times even if we have genuine reasons to do so, but such rare incidents are understandable, but when we are in this zone, in this dark place most of the time, it is just not justifiable. All I am saying is, to feel low is perfectly normal, but being addicted to this pain is not right. We have to be strong.

I know it is hard to let go. I know changes are not easy. To accept that this is the time when we have to agree to be free of this chain is not all can do. To be in a stagnant place is always easy even if the place is painful. Not all have the courage to move forward. We have this habit of getting comfortable way too easily, to adjust way too much. We may be realising that we need to let something go, but then comes the harder part where we need to act, where we need to take a step forward. This step would decide the course of our lives. If we chose to continue on the same path, we will be choosing pain again. This would be the easiest option but we will be aching all over it. The alternate route is the one where we need to be strong, where we need to choose things for us, to make changes. This may seem like a difficult thing to do after all the time we have suffered, for we have gotten used to it. But on a long term, this would be the one which would give us the freedom, the ease, the comfort.

We just need to be strong for that one moment, when we decide. We need just one moment to alter our fate. Just one moment and it can all get perfect for us. This moment, may seem like a big deal if we keep thinking about it. All the fears would try to hang as a cloud over us. It would freeze us and would eat up our ability to do what we are willing to do. But we need to overcome this stage. We need to skip it. We have to act at the very moment.

We need to allow ourselves to think about ourselves for a change, to be selfish once in a while, to do what makes us happy instead of bothering about what the other person/s might feel. Life is too short to be worrying about anything, and too unexpected to sit and wait for the good things. Because there is no key to a happy life. It is not even locked. It is right in front of us. All we need to do is take a step towards it, but we are too scared and nervous to do that. We have been walking over the aisle of thorns for too long that we have forgotten the beauty of the petals, the bed of roses.

So letting go might seem like the difficult thing to do, but trust me it is the easiest of all. We just gotta try.

This post is just an attempt to remind you of how easy it is to let go of the fear. All we have to do is pick the damn side, the good one.

The Fear

Long ago, there was a time when the women of the house used to stay indoors and the males of the society were supposed to do all the outdoor activities. With time changed the cultures and the thinking of the people and thus began the modernization.

Now, women are as free and independent as the men of the society. They work like them, sometimes even better; they never stopped taking care of the families in the process. They should be proud of themselves and a sense of pride should be there. But is it pride? No, it is fear.

Fear: fear of eve teasing, of getting raped, kidnapped or murdered.  We, the women may have succeeded in changing the culture of the society but the society has failed us. Here I don't intend to say women are always the victims or victims are always women. My intentions are to focus on the fear that persists in every woman’s mind that doesn't allow her to feel free.

When a girl is born in our society, parents want to be happy for an Angel has been born, but with that is a fear, for her safety, for her wellbeing. They are marked the 'burden' the moment they are born. A mother will have to constantly worry about her daughter now. A father has to protect her from the wild creatures that may exist in her surroundings. A brother has to take care of her and be her bodyguard wherever and whenever possible. She truly is a burden who will make all of their lives hell at some point.

Then there comes a time, living all those years, listening to how unsafe it is for a girl to go out, a girl doesn't want to go out anymore. Even if she does, she has this constant fear, of what may come next to her.

When she walks on the street, she hopes she is not getting stalked, when she's in a vehicle she puts all her faith in the God hoping that the driver won't turn out to be some psychopath. She has made up her mind in a way that when she’s safe, she thinks she is being pitied upon. When she reaches back home after work safely, she feels like she has survived another day as if she was in between the starving lions.

She may be tagged free, strong and independent but the truth is: she is not. She can't wear what she wants to, to avoid those penetrating eyes; she can't go out once its dark, to avoid any mishap. She can’t even opt for a better career option that involved living in a city all by herself, all alone, to avoid any bad thing remotely possible. All her decisions involves thinking about it twice, once to find out the impact on her parents(Society) and then to identify any kind of threat involved(If she’ll be safe!). About her choice, her happiness, she can’t give it a single thought.

A million such examples can be listed, million cases have been reported.

She is not strong; she has lost her ability to trust. She has to analyze everyone to look out for any wrong indication, which in turn controls her from speaking her mind. Is she free when she has to look out if the colleague who is being friendly is there to help or is a trouble. She has lost her freedom.

She is not safe in her office, or in her own house, or on the streets. Where is she supposed to go where she won't need to live in that constant fear!

How can she be called independent when she has to rely on a male to go out and return safely? Truly said she is a burden.

She has to sacrifice her own life because her parents want to give up the ‘Responsibility’ and make her someone else’s tension(Burden). So, she gets married. She has to sacrifice her career because she won’t be safe away from home. So she stays at home, learning to cook when the people who should be grounded are those monsters who consider her just another THING, just some OBJECT.

She is being punished for being a girl when the criminals roam around free, targeting their next victim.

One thing I don’t get is, if a person doesn't have the sense of what is right and what is wrong and who can get involved in such a crime, why does the criminal get to go free? Why the girl is claimed embarrassment and she is the one to kill herself? Why does the society punish the victim again and the criminal just enjoys the freedom, one step closer to ruining one more life.

  

Why does a girl have to live like that? If men in the society could just stop acting like a villain here, she can be happy too. I am not asking men to do anything for the POOR ladies, I am just asking them to not do anything. Just let us live our lives in peace. Let us say what we want to, let us live how we want to, If we won't have any murderer/rapist/stalker around us, we won't need to live like anything can happen to us the next minute.  We don't ask for your help, we just don't want trouble from you. But this could be a slow solution, so until then you, the good guys, can lend us a hand too, to fight for our safety, as we are your sisters, wives, mothers or friends.

I am not in a place to talk big or curse what's wrong because whatever bad is around us, a part of us is guilty too. We should have spoken earlier. People have been speaking, we should have listened. But now when the water is over the head, we gotta do something. Let's just stop tolerating the wrong, let's try to do the right thing here. 

We want to feel safe again, we want to be free again . We deserve a safe society, we deserve respect.

Women - Unite for your own safety. Today it may be for someone else, tomorrow it could be you. Men - Fight for your ladies, for you family, for your nation. Do the right thing. Unite for a better future.

Hope

We humans are so vulnerable, so volatile but we still smile. We are miserable but we know how to survive. We are sad but we have been smiling. Why? We hope.
Hope.
It can give a man another chance at life if only he hopes.
It can bring sunshine in those dark disastrous storms, if only we hope.
It can turn all those tears into laughters, if only there is hope.

We may hear this phrase so much that keep praying, God will help you. This phrase has been giving hope to people all their lives. These bunch of letters have saved more lives than an entire team of life-savers at the bedside. In all the dark times, if a man loses faith, that the time is gonna change and it is going to be all good soon, he loses everything, So, have faith. Have hope. Because you never know what the next moment may bring for you.

All you gotta do is stick to it, play your part and The Man upstairs, The Almighty God will make it all okay.

Think about all the bad times you had in past years and now think what if you would have stopped believing that it will be fine and instead, you lost it. Would you have survived it? No. But you were strong enough to survive that. You have done it once, you can do it again.

If you think you are not strong enough, you are wrong. You hold the power to change your destiny, you have it in you to change what has been written for you. But you have to have faith, you have to keep believing and you have to keep giving your best shot.

Life's tough, but it is worth all the pain. It might not turn out to be as good as you hoped it to be but sooner or later you will learn that you have got what's best for you.

All those dark days and darker nights when you think this is it, this is the end and you won't be able to get out of the situation, you got to block all the negativity, you gotta stop yourself from going down that lane of self pity and guilt, and pull yourself together and decide to laugh at the situation as it is not going to be the same the next day or next hour or may be the next minute,

What's best is people never stop hoping, and this has helped the man so far and is going to continue too, Just think about it, whatever is troubling you at this very moment, is it worth going through all that misery? Would it even matter 5 years from now? Does it even matter that much to you? We humans have been so addicted of being miserable that we have forgotten that it is us who control our feelings, our emotions. We are the masters of our own life so it is on us if we are sad as we have decided to be. Who has stopped you from being happy!

Hope like a child waiting for his parents to return, like a hungry man on the streets for some food, like a woman for her husband to return safely from the war, like a proud parent for the son to make them proud again, like a farmer for a better rain, like any other human being on the planet.

In all those rainy days, smile and hope that this rain would bring a rainbow, a clearer sky and a better day. Stop being sad and start hoping for a better future today.

Because Hoping is what makes us human in all those blues.

A Friend

Once upon a time there was a princess. She got everything she could ever ask for. The king and queen loved her, the people in her kingdom loved her, and she had everything. But there was something missing for the little princess. Although she had so many people around her all the time but all she wanted was someone to talk to, someone with whom she can share how she felt or what was going on. There were kids from other kingdoms also but she could never call them a friend.

The princess was feeling lonely deep down daily in the dorm full of crowd too. The Almighty King had no idea about this disaster in his daughter’s life. After all she never shared it with him.

So my point is, even the princess needed friends. We are the normal mango people, why wouldn’t we need one. So this post is for all my friends out there and for you guys who have precious friends or are looking for one. I hope that makes 100% of us J

Like love, there is no definite word or meaning of the word friendship.

(PS: You can exclude Google and Oxford here because they know everything.)

Yeah so where were we?  Friendship!

There are a few fortunate people on this planet who got me as their friend, I know lucky people, no :P

I will be honest with you guys; I am the lucky one because if you have true friends you lack nothing. They can be whatever you want them to be and what you need, above that.

We cry with them, we smile with them; we do all crazy things with them. We know each other so well that just a look can tell us the whole story, sometimes we don’t even need the look because we know them so well that we can just tell what must have happened.

In kindergarten when we didn't even know the word we had friends. Then it may be just about sharing that pencil or getting scolded together or just another afternoon with your buddy in the park. But we had someone when we were not ready to leave our mom's lap yet.

Then there was the time when we were not even able to even spell or write the word properly, but we had a lunch partner, with whom we used to share our lunch and with whom we used to go for that water break.

Now we are the teens. We are getting to know stuff, the real world out there; we are coming out of our cocoon. At this phase also we have someone, someone who is going through the same confusion, same rage, same restlessness and the transition, when we think we just know everything. When we lost the ability to listen to our parents or think in a rational way, when we started bitching around or when we cried for the first time and the reason was definitely not a broken toy or a knee. And guess what we were not the only ones suffering and going through this phase, struggling our way out, there was a friend holding our hand and saying you are not alone, I am miserable too and we suddenly felt better. For me this was the time when I actually realized the importance of a friend. This was when I knew I needed one and this was when I got the best one.

After school was the time to grow up. Moving out to a new place, leaving home, parents and moving in with strangers was all about the starting phase. Suddenly we feel like we got no one. we just can’t survive any more and then again the angels up from the sky did some spell and sent someone to be there for us. We saw them and knew that they are no alien, they are so like us. They may have so many different habits and they may be so much different in every other activity but these are also the ones that we would be spending the next 4 years of our college life with. The study groups, the class groups, the hostel gang and the outing buddies, they may be all different or same but we get so many new people in your life and we get along so well that sometimes even we parents would say that we have forgot them once we entered college. They are the irreplaceable ones. Now when we know how people can be real mean too, we realize how lucky we are that we got such amazing people, no back stabbing or no hard feelings involved. We just know that they are going to stick to us for the rest of our lives no matter how hard we try to break it off. They are the lovely idiots in our life and with them only we get to live and we just love them.

Once we are done with all of the above then I would tell you a secret. Don’t let any of the above friends go away. Just be the irritating guy who bugs them every now and then.

Then we are mature enough to choose people we wanna hang out with. Now after all these years we know who we can cope up with and who can tolerate us. Best part about this age is there is no emotional responsibility. we don’t owe anything to anyone now. We are free to live our life and our friends will understand because they know we have a life outside too, and we will do the same. I personally am not so fond of my professional, mature life and honestly the sole reason that I have been able to survive is that my friends are cruel enough to drag me out of my life every week. So, for the next 2 days I just like to forget that I have moved on, life has moved on.

Then the stage when the friends are more like resume, to highlight our capability our talent to the other party. It is rightly said that people are identified by their company. I remember my mum always saying to choose friends wisely.

The Kitty parties with the other ladies or the drinks with the colleagues, shopping with the neighbour or business or stock market  discussions, preparing dinner together or debating on the political views, worrying about kids future or worrying about the price rise, for married people it may have any of these definition.

But in a nut shell it is someone who is there with us, who supports us or encourages us when we are right and who stops us when we are wrong and he never stop doing that how hard you try. Someone who is mature with you and who is stupid with you. With whom we don’t have to think twice before saying or doing something because we know it is alright and even if they get angry, they won’t be able to stay angry for long, who knows our importance in their life and who are equally important for us, with whom we just don’t have to be the one carrying all the weight of the world alone, who will laugh for sure if we did something stupid but when we are neck deep in that mess, they will be the one pulling us out.

This can go on and on and I wanna right so much more, about all of this. But it’s getting way out of your patience word limit so I’m gonna wrap up right here.

No matter how far we get from our friends, no matter how long it has been since we last talked to them, but the memories that we share, the future plans that we are involved in, the one ‘Missing you’ message or the one ‘Where the hell have you been! ‘ message or the out of the blue 2 am call when we know only that crazy friend could call like that; only these things matter. Only this defines friendship in true sense.

If you have someone in your life that you can relate to by reading this, I am telling you don't let this one go. Because even if this one irritates you like hell and get on your nerves by doing everything you hate, but they love you and sooner or later you will realize their value too. 

I am grateful for I got you guys J

Keep it Simple silly ;)

Someone said think before you speak, someone else said think and plan before you do anything and you will get success. Did you read or heard anyone saying think about everything to be happy? No. Because it is so not true. You start thinking and there happiness goes out through the same door, We start taking things so seriously that we forget the motto, motto of being happy and staying happy. I also forgot this, and realised it, while I started thinking about it and realising that my smile faded the moment I started going through the logics and facts, 'Whats' and 'Whys'. Why humans need to take everything so seriously, why do we need to complicate things so bad, what is wrong with us! Why do we want everything to be our way!

Keep it simple silly. Yes, stop making things so messed up and confusing all the times. Although I am the one who needs it the most.
We humans are the dominating breed. We have always been the controllers. We just can't let anyone or anything take this privilege from us. We have been taught to be perfect from the day we were born, to do only the right thing. However the definition of right may vary person to person. The point is we tend to do things our own way, in the best possible way we can. We try to set things right all the time. That is how we start making it difficult for ourselves. Don't take me the wrong way. I am not telling you to do the exact opposite of what you should do, all I am asking for is for you to start taking things a little lightly. For once, its good to be wrong, its good to fail, its good to be sad and its good to be broken.
Only bitterness can prove the importance of sweetness, only sadness can make happiness worth it, only failure can make a success so huge.
In our day today life, from a very small scale we are doing it all right so wrong, that we got habitual of this.
When a child comes into existence, the family has this pressure of doing things in prefect way for the child. They start living in a way they never thought of, they become someone they never dreamt of, for the child. With this comes the expectations part. They start 'thinking' that they have done so much for them, the child should become a big man, someone successful. In addition to this there is the pressure of the society we live in. How can someone tell us that our child is not so great or not that deserving or not so right! So with this fear, the way life should go on changes. Now why did all this happened, why the parents who undoubtedly love their child but still kept him in so much pressure and agony that the child secretly wished they were never his parents!Why this all started in the first place, because the parents took it all very seriously and the child reacted too strong.
The day when someone asked us 'What do you want to become when you grow up?' we all had some unique dream, that distinguished us from others,it was so raw, so fresh. We may have sounded silly but we were honest, we were determined to follow our heart and be someone we want to. But then When it comes to building a career, we thought of 'Success', 'fame', 'stability', 'job security', and above all 'Money'. A man has to feed his family, a girl has to be independent. We never thought of this when we were just 10, we were happy back then, we were doing what we loved. Now we are thinking, about the future, and so stopped living the present.
We have become so conscious of the people around us, about what they think of us, about how will they judge us, that we end up doing something we normally wouldn't have done. I have seen the teen girls making fun of someone else because they just want to fit in, I have seen guys doing drugs because they want to show their peers that they are also cool, small children to ask for some expensive toy because the kid's friends have that. Now do you think all this is worth it? Do you really want to change just because you want to be accepted by some stranger. We naturally want this, but do we really need to do this?
I was so much into this fact that I have to be ready to die all the time, yes I started enjoying more, started living more, but now when I think about it, I feel, everything will happen when it is meant to be.
Now I feel that we need to stop controlling, and start accepting. Stop doing things the way we should, stop controlling things to make it happen the way we want them to and start accepting that we can't control everything. Some things are better left on destiny, if it is meant to be broken, whatever we do, we will go through that painful heartbreak. If it is what is going to happen, no matter how hard we try, we are going to screw up things. No matter how much we think about it, and how much we think we are prepared for it or how much we have thought it over, when the time comes, we won't have any control on the last things, the last words, the last good byes. There are things that we just can't understand.
We grew up with this thing in mind that do good and nothing bad will happen to you, and whatever happens, happens for the good, now I don't know whether its true or not, because for a while, I need to stop thinking and start going with the flow, act normal, be weak, be vulnerable. For once, I think its okay to be not okay. It is okay to be sad, to be wrong. For once, I am going to stop planning things, to be unprepared, if something good happens during that, I will be more than happy and if not I am not going to smile and think that tomorrow is going to be better, I am going to cry for today, for the bad that happened. I am done thinking.
I am not going to complicate things any more for me, I want to make it simple, simply happy or simply sad, nothing else.

Welcome Adulthood

Life is harsh sometimes. May be it is a little difficult for me these days or may be its just me who is behaving like a cry baby these days. I don't know what but I am not 'The Fan' of my life recently. Why? Because I grew up! I don't want to brag or exaggerate about anything but once you are settled, you just lose everything!

Today I have a nice job with decent salary and a very busy life that I always wanted, and yes I am loving this hectic schedule but something's not right. I got friends around me, friends who were there in my college days, those helped me mould into what I am today but something's missing. I have awesomest parents who support me like anything, whom I call for every little decision from the amount of spices in the biryani to deciding something real huge and important but again that doesn't seem enough.

I got everything anyone of my age could ask for, then why am I not happy! Why does my father has to give me a lecture about staying happy in any condition possible, daily! Why does my mother has to be worried because her daughter is not so happy. Why my friends have to listen to me grieving over nothing! Well I guess life is just too perfect for me!

When I was 10, I used to look over to my dad and used to think one day I will earn too, then I would get whatever I want, I will be happy. Those small toys weren't just enough for me. I didn't want to play in large play grounds or under the sky. Today this is what I desperately want. Anyone up for bidding :P

Rains and sun and winds used to be something I din't use to think about much earlier but now when I am witnessing everything through that rectangular 5 by 5 window, I know how much I want to go out.
All the small things seem to matter now.

Now when I pass through that playground daily while going to office, I just want to skip the office and play with those kids, score a goal or hit a four! I don't want to go back to that place where everything's so Grown up stuff! I want to be a kid again.

Today I saw a woman feeding her child, and I flashed back to the times when it was all with me. Now all the childhood stories are, well, stories, memories! I remember getting scolded by my mom for sitting in front of the computer screen for so long and as always I used to revolt against it. But today, I want to revolt, because I don't want to sit in front of the screen for even 1 more minute.

I heard, when you are young you have the energy and money to live your life but don't have time for it, As of now, I have time also but I don't know what has changed. Because I am just not liking it. I realised this when I had this bizarre idea of leaving the job and run back to my parents. I can actually do that, because I ran back when I was not able to find a decent accommodation. Yes, I ran! I ran from the problems instead of finding the solution. I ran, call me a coward for that. I am not so perfect, no!

The times when the smiles were genuine, the talks were all about the movies or crushes or shoes are all gone. I just talked to a friend and realised it is still there. It is me who is trying to escape  from it. I have this thing in my mind that now I am a grown up, I have to act mature, I have to calculate everything, I have to plan things and I have to decide what am I going to do in near future and all that grown up s**t!

I guess I just grew up! The child inside me that was playing, laughing and doing all the stupid things is gone. It's dead. I don't know if it was required or not, but it just happened. I want it to come back, because it's not so fun without it. Something's eating me from inside. I don't remember when was the last time when I had a peaceful night's sleep or when I was last satisfied with whatever is going on in my life.

There is this layer of darkness around me. I want it gone.

I know I sound very depressing. Trust me I am not depressed. I am just sad, I am sad because life moves on, because nothing lasts forever, because I can't go back in time.

 < PS: I really wish I can get a time travelling machine somehow :P >

 But the truth is my life is not so much stable right now and I know it will be very soon, till then allow me to cry about it :D Once I get comfortable with all the changes that have been going around lately, all will be well.

Talking about the changes, I hate them ! I don't even try any new cuisine in some restaurant and here we are talking about staying all by yourself, cooking for yourself, taking care of yourself, acting accordingly everywhere, no friends around to keep you in your comfort zone, all strange faces, everything unique, everything happening for the first time, so pardon me if I sound a little ridiculous/coward, I am scared of the changes. I absolutely don't want them. But as someone said, a change won't help you grow in your life if you can get comfortable with it. So here I am waiting for this BIG CHANGE to change my life, to help me get better.

But for now I want to get peace about this, to accept it, and to accept the fact that the old times are not coming back for sure, So, I have to work, to make this one better than before, so that in future I can say my working life was so much better than this :D

I want to be happy. After all for me life is all about staying happy. This is all I want. I don't want anything else.

Maa

This word can bring a lot of beautiful cherishing memories. This word can put a wide smile on anyone's face that people can be mistaken that you are mad. This word has so intense feelings associated with it that no one can deny the fact that it reminds him of so many things.
Mother is a synonym for love for me. Mother is the element that has the capability to balance everything in nature. Mothers are the angels sent on Earth by God because He can't look after everyone at the same time, the angels who take care of you, who are willing to sacrifice everything and by everything, I literally mean every single thing as far as her child is happy.  I think God was in a very happy mood when He created this Godly creature, or may be He was too lazy to take care of His children that He looked up for His alternate and that is how we got Mother.
Mother, another word for love, sacrifice, satisfaction, care, hope, life, comfort, wisdom and in some cases food also. For a friend her mother is a positive vibe, she is the warmth for another. PS: I may be the source of the last one :P
Long before you were born, she has started living for you. Even if she doesn't want to eat, she did eat so that her baby is born healthy. She starts sacrificing her wills and likes because she had to stay back and take care of herself and more importantly her baby. Even the woman who is an unstoppable machine and whose favourite hobby is to take care of her family, takes a break from all this, because she has to be healthy for her child. The time when she had her baby closest to her, in her womb is said to be her favourite time, because she can feel the heartbeat of her child, every movement, and she is so desperate to see her child, her healthy child. So she starts with all those prayers. She won't miss a God to pray to, for the well being of her baby. That's how a mother is. She tolerates all the pain too, for the moment, the moment when her child sees the light of this world, when she can be relieved that her baby is fine. The day her baby is born is said to be the only day when a mother smiles when her child is crying because in any other day a mother cries for every single bad thing going on in our lives. That is the most amazing thing about a mother, you don't even need to tell her about your life, she knows everything, and she will be the one next to you in any and every condition.

Then comes another stage in her life, in your life, of all the sleepless nights because you are a stupid kid who just can't sleep when she needs to complete some work or who has to be hungry when your mother just lay down for a 15 minutes nap or you have to poop when she is about to have something to eat after a marathon of 23 hours and 45 minutes. Yes, a child is cruel, I know! But did she ever tried to escape from all this, umm, No! She feels like she is the only one who can take care of you. Try handling a baby badly and get ready for some serious shit because that kid's mother is noticing you from the other room too through the window. A mother has her eyes on her child every second. So be careful next time, don't tell me I din't warn you. And when you are a toddler she need not hit a gym, because she is going to turn into a skeleton anyway. Thanks to you of-course.

Well after this never ending exercise, she still has to be your tutor. Every mother wants her child to be the President of the nation! So, you have no excuse to skip that homework or get involved in any fight. That is absolutely intolerable. And if you still be the notorious kid who never listens to his mother, well, get ready for some slaps and some blows! Yeah yeah I was very notorious not to mention stubborn.

I remember the time when I was stubborn enough to not tell where I kept the cupboard keys and my father hung me upside down to scare me, and I was still not admitting anything and the best part was I didn't even hide the keys and I had no idea about it! But as I said I was the notorious one in my family. I can bet on it, that I am still such a pain to handle :P

The times when your mother stays up for the midnight tea in your board exams, times when she wants her child to be perfect, when she will make you learn something you don't want to at that time but later on realise that yes it is very helpful and you silently thank your mom for teaching you that. When you are asked for help in the kitchen so that she can have some time from your BUSY schedule, so that she can know what is going on with her little bird because her bird has got little wings and doesn't want to be in the nest any more. She hardly hear your stories after you got new friends in school, when the conversation between you two is just the formal questions about the routine and lunch and sometimes not even that and the times when she had the nights when she didn't sleep because she saw you upset but you didn't share your sorrow. Yes our teenage days!!
Do you remember the day when you scored good marks and she bragged about how good you are in studies to every other person in the society? Or the day when you fell from your bi-cycle and after scolding you for a moment, she cried and then lifted the world upside down and did everything in her control so that you recover soon?
The Birthdays!! They were special because you get to eat all your favourite food, when you are allowed to do anything stupid and because it is your birthday and you can't get a slap as a gift, the gifts, that new dress, the dress that she bought for us, yes, in our times, our mothers used to pick clothes, shoes and every other possible thing for us. Ohh I miss those days!

The day when you left your HOME, for further studies, you remember who cried the most, who called you 10 times a day to make sure you are doing okay, to make sure you are eating properly, to make sure your room-mates are not causing any trouble or the hostel warden and in case she is, our mum is all set to make a call. God Bless the warden! When she used to wake up early so that she can wake you up on time, the expected but unexpected mathri that she used to send with every relatives' relative for you and even after that her pet line after seeing you, that you have got thinner! You can never be fat for her, if she can control it, every person in this world will look like a balloon.

I was not a perfect kid for my mother, but every mother is the perfect mother and I am pretty sure everyone wants to say at this moment 'My Mom is the Best'. Noooo !! My mother is the Bestest! :) I have made so many mistakes in my life till now and the list continues, but  her love remains intact. She continues to forgive you, she continues to love you. Nothing in the world can change this fact. No matter what you do, she will still be the same for you. After so many hardships, she may change but she will never change for you. A mother would sacrifice anything and do anything for her kid. Every child must have experienced such event at least once. This is why mothers are so special. I don't know what my mother is composed of! She will be very angry if I do something wrong, we won't talk for a day and she will still be worried if I had my meals or not, if I am okay or not even if she has to take help of my father to do so. But she will ensure that I am okay. In that case, the fight is going to get dirty :D But in the end, last line would be 'Don't do this next time otherwise I am not going to talk to you.' but she still does talk every time :)

One thing I learnt in these 22 years is your parents are always right. They want good for you. So stop questioning everything they say and stop just being a rebel, it is fun I know, no one can understand this better but let me tell you one thing, if it causes sadness to your parents, it is not worth it. They want you to have a perfect trouble-free life and yes it took me that long to realise that, bad kid I am :P

Unlike most of the people in IT sector, I was lucky enough to get few months to spend with my parents, my mum, after college. I thank God for that now, it was frustrating to sit idle no doubt but the love and warmth, the care and homely feeling was what I crave for now.
Then the time when you are afraid of telling your father about the love of  your life, she supports you and also convinces your father for you. (Just Saying :D ) The time when you don't know how to talk about your dreams and your aims but she is the Ginny. You won't even know when a miracle happens and the next day your father says 'Do what you want to do, I support you.'

I remember the talk with my mom when I said 'I wanna see this world, I wanna learn and that is how I wanna spend my salary' and you know what she understood me, she stood by me. We shared my dream after that. She was worried about me, but she was not too protective to keep me in a shell, she loved me, but she didn't spoil me, hopefully I turned out to be a better kid! She was lenient but when needed she was the one to scold me first. She misses me but still doesn't let me know, to protect me. She won't tell me the bad news about her health or family or about anything else because she doesn't want to upset me. She still thinks I am her little girl, the stupid one, but she also knows that I am what I need to be right now and I will grow up. She still wants me to be mature, to take up responsibilities,  to continue her legacy, of her life, but she doesn't want me to have the burden all over my shoulder. She has taught me well how to handle any kind of situation. What I am today is because of all the care and wise words by my mum and all the life lessons and tips by my papa.

When someone asks about my role model, I get so confused shall I say mum, papa or di ! Because yes, they all are just perfect. Di also, another gift by my mum to me, and she is The Best! Ohh yeah mom always say I forget my younger brother, so not going to forget you here bhai :) You are also cute, sweet and best bro!

For the family I have I can't thank enough to God, to my mum. Because as they say,

                                                  HOUSE + FAMILY = HOME

And most of the credit goes to maa for this :) PS: Papa don't be jealous, it's maa's day today :) :)

My mother is  a gift. I love her, I respect her and I am going to do anything for her, for her happiness too. like she does for me. I know I don't stand a chance to give her the same happiness ever but I will not let any more of her days to be bad in any case, by anyone. I want her to be happy and be proud of her daughter. I want to be her perfect daughter. 

Happy World

Sometimes, we know something but we still need a trigger to do it. The same thing happened with me recently. I just watched the movie 'Jai Ho'. Don't judge me by my choice, Salman Khan fan here :P

Now about the movie: one thing I loved the most was the concept that says instead of saying thank you to anyone, just help 3 other people and tell them to do the same. This is what I loved about the whole movie.

We people are very compassionate about everything. We do get sad when we see someone struggling, when we see that they are not even able to have a meal or not fortunate enough to get the basic necessities. Yes, we do get sad when we see someone becoming the victim of anything bad, when something very wrong is happening. It could be anything, accident, a fight, unfair system etc. But the point is are we doing anything about it! No. 

We got a heart, we got feelings, so we are supposed to feel bad. But we will be the good humans if we try to make a change. One man can actually make a difference, as the movie says and shows. 

I believe we have the power to make a change. We just need to realise that and stop taking our powers too casually. We have to take a break from our busy lives once in a while. No, we don't even need to do that . We just have to do whatever good we can do on our way. 

We have been so involved in getting everything that we forgot that real happiness is satisfaction. If a man can'e be satisfied with what he has, he can't be happy ever. The key is be happy with what you have now and then try to work for better. The satisfaction we can get when we see the smile on someone's face because we just helped them is happiness. To know that the other person has one less thing to worry about now because you helped him is happiness. When you know that you just did something good is happiness. 

We have some days when everything seems too bad, when we feel like it can't get worse, think about the people who are orphan, or handicapped or unemployed or unloved. So instead of worrying about our problems in those blue days just help the needy ones and trust me you will forget your pain.

If we can just try and do a little from our side, we can surely make a lot of change. Think about it. If this chain continues unbroken, how many people would have a smile on their face. We help 3, they help 9, and they help 27. Lets make a resolution to help anyone whenever we have a chance to do so. There are so many who need someone to help them, lets be the one for them. Till now we must have avoided some critical situations, we may have avoided helping anyone out of the fear of getting into trouble. Lets resolve to not do that now onwards. Let us get together for a better life, for a better place to live in, where people are not just compassionate, they are good enough to lend a helping hand. 

When you see someone begging for food, help them. When you see someone crying, provide emotional support to them. When you see someone in trouble, be useful. Help can be in any form, but I just want you to do good, be good. Be a better person. Be the one who is capable of making someone smile. Let us all together make it a better world, not a place where we can't be sure if something bad happens to us or anyone, no one would be there. You know what it could be just a very small gesture from your side but it can be a new hope, a new life for someone. You may be thinking that you just helped that lady with her heavy baggage, not a big deal but she may be tired of the fights going on in her house, and is fed up of her life but this small help may have made up for it. You may have just helped that blind guy cross the road, but may be that guy has lost all the hopes and you may have worked as the new ray of hope for him.
Every small thing we do shows that we care and being cared can do magic. When you know that someone out there cares about you, want to see you smiling, want you to be happy can be something a man can live for. So next time you have a chance of offering for anything as minute as a smile, please do. Because you never know what it can do to other, how much happiness it can bring to other person. For me if you are happy and if you are capable of making someone else happy, then you have conquered the world.
I can see the happiness in the eyes of that house-keeping lady when I generally ask her if she had her meal, I can feel the blessing in the greetings of that gate-keeper when I just wish them good-afternoon. I can see the smiling eyes of some kid on the streets when I smile at them. Words of care can make it so good, just imagine how much worth a kind gesture would be. 

It is a very small world, what you do today is going to come back to you someday soon. So, if you are doing good, trust me, soon you will get it back. 

I want to see everyone around me happy. I want to see people smiling. I want to assure that all is good for them. I am going to try, I am going to work for it. Happy World is what I want and dream about. Because we all deserve to be happy. :)
In the end thank you to everyone who has helped me and made me smile and made me feel good in those tough days. I am going to help 3 people for every help I got. :)
This video explains it in the best possible way  :

Poor Guy

In my previous post I talked about how unfair the world is to girls. Now let's see the other side of the story ;)

              Are guys and girls really equal? This is the time when I will say, no they are not equal. I mean whenever something happens, it is the guy who is the person responsible to fix it, one who has to and who must fix everything. No excuses! I don’t recall the time when a girl has to take the responsibility of the house maintenance or taking up the job of the plumber!

Let’s see this from a guy’s perspective now. From the childhood days a guy has to learn how to be the ‘Responsible’ son of his parents. With all that responsibility comes the pressure of being a good son. Poor guys! They don’t have the privilege to act careless as it would show that they are not being serious and it would lead to them being useless!

             A guy has to learn how to fix things from his childhood days because ultimately he has to take over the job his dad has been doing for years. He is a guy, he is a fixer! Talking about the facts, male to female ratio in India is 908:1000. So when I say this, that 92 guys won’t be getting his better half, then do believe it. So, who would want that for their son! So the race starts; the race to make their son the perfect bachelor; the race to make him capable enough to deserve a good wife! You don’t want to be one of those 92 guys, do you? In this very competitive world, one more competition for the poor guy!

             For a girl, the only thing that she needs to learn of all is cooking but a guy has to earn! Girls can be so carefree when it comes to careers and life goals, because well, they can rely on their ‘husband’ for that. He has to be independent; he has to be capable of supporting his future family. He has to work towards it, to build his future, to achieve his goals as he has no other option. He is the one who is meant to take care of it, and he just can’t back out from this duty. But this poor guy here has to know a little bit of household works also, you need to know everything for that ‘in case’ situation.

              A guy has to take care of his family throughout his life. He has to look after his parents, his siblings, and finally his future family. Sorry guys for shattering your dreams if you think being a guy is good, because it actually bad. You won’t be getting fun or freedom, but loads and loads of responsibilities. Health and education, necessities and luxury, it’s all in your plate. You will have her by your side always but ultimately it would be you who has to do something about it. So get ready to have a very tough life.

                Now if a guy is lucky enough to get a girl, get ready because life will be unfair for you. She will dominate; she will treat you like anything. You are always the one who will be blamed for everything, because girls are too sensitive to take all that. Even if a girl is wrong, you have to say sorry!

                Then you have this time constraint to get a decent job, to get settled. Worst part is you treat your girl, your wife, your daughter like the princess or queen, but you are not appreciated for that. One mistake and all goes in vain.

Then the reservation for females: in buses, in jobs, in colleges and everywhere else! Girls get better of all. Everyone treats them so nicely and is always ready to help, but when it comes to guys, they won’t help even if it’s their job to help! I feel sorry for you, for every fight you have to be involved in, for every sacrifice you have to make, for every stupid thing you do to make her smile, for everything you do, for her. You have to take care of your family and also have to do anything in your control to see them happy. You are guy, tough from outside but in reality you do care a lot. You would want them to be happy.

                  A guy is the ‘Head of the House’; and trust me, that’s the toughest job. You don’t have any off ever. You have to work in office then you have to complete your fatherly works and then your wife demands that family outing she has been planning.

"Life’s tough for you, very complicated. So, if you think being a guy is the best thing in the world, think again."

All the best guys :D

Poor Girl

Girls and Guys . Yes they are equal, as per the rules and facts at least! But are they really considered equal? Most of the girls will reply to this the same, ‘NO’ and I am one of them.

From the childhood days, we girls are made to learn things that will make us a family person, a happy to be with, to have as a part of family type of person. We are taught to cook and do other household works because as they say a girl is of no use if she can’t cook for her Godly husband! She has to feed them. And of course to make them the best of all other eligible bachelorette of her age, they must, a strict must, know how to do other works, as you can’t rely on anyone else for your daily works, dah !

But the best part is this is the modern era, now everyone wants a girl who is well educated, not to mention working because who knows when this talent of the girls might come in handy. So the sarcasm here is we are expected to learn every household activity, and we have to compete with the male members to get good score, a good college and finally a good job. Ohh I almost forgot to mention, boys and girls are equal. So if a guy can go out to get the grocery or if he can drive us to our workplace, we must be capable of doing the same. We have to have the talent the male society got, you know why, because girls and guys are equal!

But then from the age of 5 years, they start training us, more like the taming. Because we are the girls, we have to laugh like a lady, walk and talk like one, and yeah we never ever are allowed to raise our voices even if something is not right. We don’t have the privilege to question anyone, and by anyone I literally mean anyone, because we can’t afford to seem rude, no! Apart from training and taming you know what else is not right, it’s when you grow up with the continuous dialogue by your mum that you are going to get married someday, and this is not your home! Why !!

When you turn 15, congratulations, life is going to suck for you girl, and as usual it’s because you are a girl. You won’t be allowed to do so many things. Going out would be more of a hell for you because of those staring eyes and cheap people and you are just 15 so you don’t even know how to handle it. I seriously pity you girl. Then this growing age, and confused mind, you have so much more in your plate, the hormone issues, the temper issues, the teenage problems and what not. But don’t worry, you won’t be treated any differently even now. We still have to be in our limits. Guys are the ones who are meant to break the rules, not girls! Guys make a mistake, it’s because they are learning, they are growing, and when girls make a mistake, how dare she!  I don’t know why people get so hypocrite on this topic. Every things good with the guys and when it comes to girls they would like to keep them imprisoned until they just transfer them from one cell to other, ie. Her parents’ home to her in-laws’ home! PS: It still won’t be your home, because it’s your husband’s place. So don’t ever dare to commit any mistake!

Moving on.. The adult life, when parents pressurize us to get married. You want to work, to achieve what you always wanted, but ohh poor girl how can you forget this job was not because they wanted you to achieve your dreams, it was more of an investment! The more qualified you are, the better husband you get, that’s the deal. But don’t be too good, because then either your parents would find difficulty in searching for the perfect groom or you will end up doing nothing, because how can you be better than your husband!

Then comes the part when you finally want to have a little fun in your life, because in your school days you had to wait for the college, den in college wait for the job, and even when you are working, you are not supposed to have a little fun, go out with friends, because the world out there is not safe, so girl, wait, wait for your hubby to show you places. So finally after getting married you hope that now is the time, but wait, you are a girl, you are supposed to stay back, and remain low, as you can’t just get out just after your marriage! What would ‘Society’ think of you! After 1 year of marriage, you even started shopping for your vacations. PS: shopping is the only thing girl can actually enjoy pre and post marriage! But ohh no, how can you take it so lightly, you have one more major role: Family Planning! Food and Kids are your major responsibility, never ever forget that! So again you are not allowed to go out. Yes not allowed, you are just 30 now, you don’t know what is good and what is bad for you. You are such a child! And after all the sacrifices and compromised you won’t be admired, you know why, because it was your job, you are a girl and that’s what is expected of you!

And this cycle never ever stops. I am sure I would be on the other side after 20-30 years, but right now I am here, right now I am frustrated, fed up of all this. I am a girl. I have survived in toughest of all conditions. I am the one who is there for you when you needed to, so in return, yes I do expect a little respect, empathy and love! I am a girl because I have the gu

ts to be one! So being girl is awesome for me, because I know guys won’t be able to take that much! 

CrazyLove

This is my first post of this kind, so I don’t know if I am using the right words or not.

Love, a word described by many, a feeling felt by all. Everyone has a different definition for what love is. I have my own. Love:  Life.  For me, love is a feeling that inspires you to live. It is not necessarily with your lover or friends or your family. Even if you love yourself or anything, you have a goal. You know what you are living for. Lucky are the ones who know what they want!

So, yeah I experienced it, I encountered many who were on the cloud nine because they were in LOVE. I also met many who just wanted their misery to end anyhow, because they just had a heart-break.  There were many who loved their parents more than anything, and the others who loved themselves. I am not judging anyone, because it’s their life, their decision.

I am actually happy to say that because of this feeling, people are showing some of the human traits! They are familiar with the words sacrifice, compromise, passion and kindness. It feels so good to see that they know what makes them happy and who makes them happy.

I think when there is a name in your mind with whom you want to share anything and everything, with whom you want to celebrate your happiness is when you are in love. When you can do anything for it and when you can face every problem with a smile, you are in love. In love, you find your life meaningful. The butterfly feeling is not superficial :P You are ready to do anything to just see the smile on their face. At times, you put them above you too. Because this is love, it is stupid, it is crazy but it is also what makes you happy.

But love is also relative. In the end you will know what you love the most. This is when things get complicated. There are times when you disagree to compromise, or when you just can’t get hold of what is right and what is wrong.  You are made to choose between your dreams, your life and your love. This is the time when you just can’t decide what you want more. Then there are days when you just don’t feel like it’s going in the right direction and you should have never taken the first step. The time when you regret everything you did, the time when you just can’t stop thinking about all the bad decisions you ever made and how different your life would have been if it’s not for them. When you try to show yourself that you are strong enough to go through this but every second every part of you just want to give up. When you want to cry so hard, to scream out so load that you no longer can hear the sound of your own thoughts. This is the time when you can’t get any weaker. This is the time when you will start getting better. So when it feels like it’s the worst day of your life, smile because tomorrow is going to be a good day for you.

I still don’t get it why some of the heart-broken people go for self-destruction. It isn’t what love is. Love is life and you are alive. Taking such drastic steps makes you incapable of loving. If the love is true, just move on with your life. My favourite quote is not a lie!

“Whatever happens happens for good”.

So if you find yourself in such a position ever, don’t worry, because it’s just for something better. You have a lot more to learn. You have a lot more to achieve. When the ‘Right One’ is there, you won’t get apart, I can promise you that. No one can change the course of your life, so you just have to complete your role and the rest will be taken care of. I am not expecting you to not cry or fall apart. All I am asking for is you to be strong. Life is never unfair.

Love makes you laugh, makes you cry, holds you together, and makes you fall apart. But it’s just the ups and downs that make it so worth living for. You can’t always get what you want, but what you get is always what you need. Think of all the good memories love has given you and cherish them. All you need to do is know what you want.

Love is a feeling that completes me, I love my life, I love everything about it, and I love everyone in it. I chose to smile instead of moping over anything. For me, love is the happy feeling. For me, it is worth living for. J

Fake Life!

We have come so far in life today that we forgot to actually live our life. Yes ! Today life seems so artificial, so calculated to me. 

When we were young, life seems so out of control, we were not allowed to even choose our food or clothes. That time all we can think of was growing up so that we can decide everything and live as per our will. But now when I am the in charge of my life, I want to be a kid again. Not because I am fed up the work or responsibilities but just because deciding everything is so exhausting. 

Calculating every possible consequence of our action has become a habit for us and deep down we know we have stopped living freely because of this but it is what it is. 

I miss the time when I used to say what I really wanted to say instead of thinking about the long-term consequences. The time when people were actually good, when they used to talk when they actually wanted to, not because they have some motive. Innocence is gone. The time when smiling was just a gesture to show that you care. The time when you could differentiate between good and bad. Now, in this grey world, you just don't know what is actually right. There are two-faced people, there are liars. And what is the worst part of all this is we are taught to be one of them because they say to survive in  jungle you have to be an animal yourself!

We are free! We are free to be slaves of this society. Because if we don't act like how we are supposed to, we won't survive for a minute. And when I say I have tried that believe it. With these passing years we aren't taught to live our life, we are taught to fix in this society of Robots! We lack emotions, we lack truth, we lack innocence and we lack life. 

Life is good, we just stopped living life. We got into this vicious circle of unreal materialism.  We became coward. We stopped saying or doing anything for us.

Relations, emotions, compassion seem just some superficial words. Happiness is not an emotion today, it is not any feeling. Today happiness for most is money, fame, power or whatever they dream of. But do they find happiness ever! I doubt it.

Helping people is another 'give and take' process today, just like love. 

Before joining I had so many talks with my father on learning diplomacy, professional behaviour that in the process I lost the meaning of my life. Thank God that my will was stubborn enough to go back to what it was before. Yes I want to learn things but not because someone else told me so, I want to learn by my mistakes. I want to experience a little bad too, to evolve, to grow, to fall and to rise up again. 

Yes, I learnt how to live that artificial life that everyone is living and has to live in this world, but now I know how to balance between both. 

I am glad to find that there is still hope left for us, because we at least care enough to make our parents happy. At least some of us do! This might be a start to a better world, to be happier world! 

Because we are not robots who have to fake every movement, we are real people. We feel, We love, We get Hurt, We make mistakes and We get better every time!