We, in general like the idea of having someone by our side, be it our family, a friend or partner. We like the thought that we might not be alone after all, that we will have someone there for us, anytime, every time we might need. Though this idea is very comforting, but this is far from reality.
We might have a big family, we might have a dozen friends or we might have some special people in our lives. We feel that when in need, they will be there for us. This might not be wrong, but to expect that they will be always there for you is an exaggeration of hope. Yes, they will be there at certain stages of our lives, but that is not permanent.
When we were growing up, we always had our parents to take care of us, they still are, but the way their care has transformed should be taken into consideration. When we were kids, they used to take care of every trouble we get into, and when we were in school, we had a bunch of friends who would help us copy their homework or help us ignore the person making fun of us always.
When we were young, we had our gang to save us from everything, including our parents :P They were always there to party with us, to talk about our latest crushes or for a shit load of wisdom about things we might have not even heard of before.
When we find our significant other, the better half, the One, we share our lives with them. They are in literal terms, for us, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse. They are there when we have a crappy day at work and they are there when we have a fight with our parents. They proved to be a whole package of friends and family and what not.
But, are they really there for us. I mean, when we grew up, we found it difficult to share certain things with our family. When we were with our crew, there were a certain things we found private enough to not share with them and some things were too harsh to share with our partner.
Then again, no one means it when they say they will be there for us no matter what. I have been on both the sides and I will admit I have tried blowing someone off when they were getting on my nerves everyday with their problems and I have also pissed a few friends when I was doing the same thing to them.
So what does it mean? It simply means that they are there in the good times and in bad, only till its convenient for them. Till they enjoy hearing all those sad stories, and till they like encountering the sad details.
Today, people are there for us, only till they feel like doing it. You might be the same person you were when you were attached hip to hip. But it might just not be profitable enough for you. They might not be having as much as they expected, they might not be getting as much as they wanted out of that relationship. They might not be feeling what they assumed they will.
In other words, they just want you, to be with you as long as they want and they need. So even if you think they are there for you, in reality you were there for them, for whatever purpose you were serving, you were catering to their needs.
And the same thing goes for us. No matter how much we want to deny it, we are exactly the same, just in different shoes at the different time and with different people. Hell, we might be treating someone as badly as someone else is treating us, right at this moment. Its like a take and give kind of situation when we take crap from someone and give it to someone else.
We just like to portray ourselves as saints in situations when we are nice to someone and as a victim when some is mean to us, but we don't really wanna think about the times when someone was being nice to us when we were plain mean to them.
So, next time, someone says 'I'll be there for you', know that this is only till it suits them.
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