Happily_Ever_After for Committed people ;)

Most people must have gone through a bad relationship and most of them must be really into it. Now the point is ‘What went Wrong’. This list will point out some of the common mistakes people usually do and avoiding them can really help you to make your relationship work. Hope it helps.

10. Not a Boss:

This thing is to be kept in every relationship not just for couples. It is okay to care for the person but caring doesn’t mean to boss around. Being caring doesn’t mean to force other people to do what you want them to do and live their lives as per your wish. It is their life and you can’t order them to live it in your way. So this nature is a relation-spoiler for sure. By being too bossy and trying to make things according to your will all the time will show that it is just you and not US present in the relation. You are supposed to be the better half of the person so treat them equally and realize their importance. Else you will end up single with a broken heart.

9. Don’t be the accountant:

It is good to take care and maintain an account of the money spent but once you are in a relationship, you just can’t do it openly in front of her if you are a guy! It has been the custom that men are supposed to spend money (excluding some special occasions!) and it is okay to maintain a record of how much you have spent and do some savings also. But it is a strict ‘NO NO’ to keep on telling your girl about how much money you have spent on her this week or month. It will make her feel like she is no more a financial burden on you and it would be better for you if she leaves you. And I’m sure you don't want this. You may be left wondering why she left you but let me tell you, girls are over-thinkers and you can’t imagine how far they can think.

8. Don't be Materialistic:

This tip is especially for girls. If you want a serious commitment you need to change your thinking that boys are meant to spend money on you and it is your right to make them do so. They are also bounded by other responsibilities and you can't just take them as your cashiers! You are just proving yourself materialistic who is interested in their money not in them! If it is all about money then it is not a relationship but a business. And you know businesses don't last forever. So if you really want your relationship to work, you must not make him feel like a bank to you. You should try to be on an equal status by paying some bills or by giving him some presents. If you are married then I would say you are a family now. Now you both are together and you need to get above the thinking of individuality.

7. Dragging the Past:

Everyone has a past but what you need to do is love in your present if you want a future with your partner. If they are with you now and are being loyal to you then you need not to worry and you should forget about their past because they are determined now to be with you. So support them and help them in keeping the love between you two. Stop making them regret it and don't ever compare the present with their past because what matters the most is your love and now by reminding them of their past you are creating troubles only. Now if we talk about the problems you two faced in the past, you faced it and you have moved on, there is no point in blaming the other for the mishap that happened in the past. You need to let go of the things and if you really want this relationship to work, you need to forget and forgive.

6. Trying to Change:

Changes are good, but when we talk about relationships, it is playing the negative role. Forcing your partner all the time to change is like forcing them to be someone else. In the starting phase of relationships you may have said the same sentence “I like the way you are!” but were you honest when you said that? I don’t think so. You should try to accept them the way they are. You loved them that way only so why try to change them. Because they will mould for you, but they too have a limit and after it they will feel like they are bounded. If we talk about you now, then if you are also changing according to your partner beyond your limit, then I would suggest you to stop. Because you can compromise up to a level and after that you would be craving to be free. So try to talk and solve things out.

5. Lack of Communication:

This is the most common reason of the problems in a relationship. When you stop talking to each other and when you are no longer communicating, how are you supposed to be in a relationship? You may be busy with your work and you may be lacking topics to talk about after a long relationship, but if there is no communication between you two, you are creating distances only and it is not at all good for both if you. This is a strict requirement in a relationship. If you have nothing to talk about, try to spend some time together and your relationship will be back on the right track.

4. Don't Abandon:

Make your partner feel like they are your second priority and you are single once again. When people are committed to a relationship, all they expect from the other one is their attention and love. But if you prove yourself to be the opposite, your relation is going to have a dead end. When you are out with your friends and your partner, it is good to pay attention to your friends as it is supposed to be a social meeting, but among your friends ignoring your partner or considering them as just another friend would be very wrong. No one can tolerate it. As they want to be treated specially. Not necessarily all the time but they deserve some of your intimate moments also. Even when you are out with your friends or family but without your partner, don't think now you are free to avoid them. You should inform them about it as they may be actually worried about you. So guys abandoning your partner in any case can be a relationship killer.

3. Don't Lie:

This is a tip difficult to implement. But is the most important key factor for the success of a relationship. There is very popular English saying “A Building can’t be strong if its foundations are weak.” This applies here also. A relationship can’t last long if it was started on a base of lies. You need to be completely honest with your partner. There is no place for lies here. You should be honest in all the situations. Even when you are wrong, you should tell them the truth as they deserve it. So avoid lies as today or tomorrow they are going to badly affect your relation only; because lies have very small life. So better be safe and be truthful.

2. Never Compare:

This is the most common mistake done by the people in relationship. At first they act like they love you so much and they don't even see anyone else except you but with time all the facts are uncovered and you get to know the whole thing. This thing turns out real bad when they start comparing you with other people or they start comparing your relationships with other. So this is a really big problem and it has ended many relationships also. So keep this thing in mind never compare your partner or your relationship with others because you may not be fully familiar with them and you are just seeing the good parts. But Roses always come with thorns. And it is not just about sharing your thoughts with your partner, but you shouldn't have this comparison round even in your mind as it will ruin your relation from your side also. So avoid Comparisons.

1.Don't Over-think:

This thing should be avoided in general traits of life also. Thinking about something again and again will do no good. It will just make things go wrong. If you are going through a rough patch thinking about it over and over again will increase the grudges instead of solving the problem. What you need to do is let go. Secondly, if you have some problem with your partner, try to fix things but if there is no improvement, don't keep on thinking about that small issue and make things wrong for both of you. As you are not accepting this fact and your partner will get irritated and you are likely to break-up. In the end, it is good if you are dreaming of having any future with your partner, but make sure you are not day dreaming because if you over-think about it, you are going to hurt yourself in the end.

Insecurity will destroy you

If you want to be successful in today’s world, you better be confident enough to cope up with this fast improving society. You may say you are good enough but deep down you may be the victim of insecurity. The first step in this direction is to accept this fact and after that we are here to help you gain that confidence back whether it is about you as an individual or it is about your relationship. Some of the tips that might help are:

10. Don’t Ignore:

Ignoring problems doesn’t solve them. If you feel the traces of insecurities in you, just face it. If you feel the problem with your partner instead of waiting for the time when he/she would adjust to that or there comes a big storm try to solve it. Mocking out would definitely worsen it. If they have some insecurity try to find out the reason behind that and let them know that you care. And if you are the victim then you should better start thinking why you have the insecurity and then take the complimentary actions and set the wrong things right.

9. Talk:

Talking can be the problem of every solution if done in the right way. Talk more about your problems to the one who cares and who would care enough to listen. Who knows you get the solution to your problem. If it’s about your partner even then talk to them that you know what is going on in their mind and you have noticed the changes. Make them feel comfortable enough to show that side of themselves. You would get to know about them more and they will feel they have you no matter what. Try to help them with whatever that is bothering them. May be you can prove to be a life saver.

8. Don’t give up or give in:

It’s fine if you are irritated because of the insecurities, it is human. But what you need to do is to try to find out the solution for your problem and never ever give up. Giving up would do no good. And if it is your partner who is feeling insecure than it is must that you try to make them feel better but in no circumstances you should give in. You are no dummy and you can’t keep changing yourself because of their insecurities. Don’t let the insecurities win over. Instead stay firm and remain who you are. Tell them that you are not okay with it and make your point clear. It would prevent any further misunderstandings and you can’t just keep on modifying .

7. Dig it out:

‘You have a problem go to its root.’, ‘In the core of every problem lies their solutions’; these all are not mere statements. To find the solution to any problem you need to get to the bottom of it. So think about it. What could be the reason of your insecurity? And when you know the problem you got the solution. If it is about your partner then I would say talk to them more about it. Let them spell it. Find out what happened that you have negative thoughts about yourself that caused this insecurity. May be that past experience is no more important in your life and you may be able to get over it.

6. Remain Busy:

This may not be the particular solution to this problem but you can’t ignore the fact that the more you stay free, the more negative thoughts you have. And negative thoughts would cause insecurity. So why not remove the factor completely. Keep yourself busy enough to avoid any negative thoughts. Indulge yourself in good things whatever you like. If you find out the insecurity in your partner then I would suggest the same to you also. Keep her busy. Take her out, make her feel special and needed and don’t give her time to think of anything else. Girls the same applies to you.

5. They are not Experts:

You have a best friend that is good. But you know what..! Even that person is no perfect human. So instead of taking advices from them think and help yourself. It doesn’t mean stop sharing things or stop listening to others. It simply means if your friend is saying something that you are not okay with, you better listen to yourself. If your friend has a failed relationship because of some reason doesn’t mean you would face the same. You two have different partners, different personalities and different conditions. So you better start using your own brain before its too late.

 

4. Trust:

This is the prime important factor in any relationship. Trust your better half if you want to be trusted too. Give love if you want love. You can’t just keep on looking into their personal stuff or mails or their cell phone. They have a personal life of their own and don’t ever try to sneak into their personal space. You may be out from their life also by doing so. Respect their feelings of privacy. Don’t be the detectives and find out the details about them until it’s too important.  You would be creating misunderstandings only. Instead trust them and strengthen your relationship.

3. Some principles but no scratching out the scrap:

Set some ground rules and don’t break them usually. Decide them by mutual discussion and happiness of both. You and your partner both had a life before this relationship also. So why let that life die. May be it was the life your partner loved. Set some principles that could be a day with friends in a week or may be a movie in a week together. But when they are out with their friends don’t envy that or doubt that. They are loyal don’t worry. You should not try to dig out the things to a level that makes them uncomfortable. Like if they said they went out to a bar, don’t try to force them to tell you every detail of it. And if there is a small issue between you too, try to solve it instead of creating a scene over it.

2. Self-Confidence:

Nothing attracts a man or woman more than self-confidence. So stay long and confident. If you will keep on thinking about the things that you lack you would be the victim of insecurity for sure. If you are lacking something, try to figure out what and work on that. Work to improve yourself and your confidence as a result. If you think your dressing or your looks or the way you present yourself in front of others is not good enough, work to make it better. If you will keep on thinking you are not good enough for your partner, you would never be. If you will keep on thinking your relationship won’t work, it would never do. So think positive and improve.

1. Stop Comparison:

This is the biggest problem that causes insecurity. You must keep one thing in mind ‘Nobody is perfect’ and ‘You have your own qualities’. If you will keep on comparing yourself with other people who say look better than you or who have a better life than you (as per your thinking) then stop doing it. You don’t know anything about their life and you can see their qualities only. Try to look at yourself and see what you are good at. Everyone is born with some qualities. So stop feeling inferior. You are best and no one can replace you. You should in fact think about the things you can learn from that person and improve yourself.